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XIII-Fear and Loathing On The Net

February 28, 2012

I did have a good, creative writey idea for the first blog post of this section. But then I realized it had already been done, by the greatest comic mind of my generation no less, and I couldn’t hope to top him.

The Internet can be an incredibly creepy place. The negative interactions you can have on it range from watching disturbing videos like this, or watching legitimately horrifying things like Daniel Berg’s execution or the Russian soldier having his throat cut out by Chechen insurgents. Not going to post those. You can have robots ask you questions that are too personal, or you can have actual criminals steal your valuable information. And thanks to the Internet, the phrase “lemon party” will always have a truly haunting meaning that has nothing to do with celebrations or sour fruit.

But I suppose that at the end of the day, we only get out of the Internet what we put into it. All of the creepy people in this world now have their courage and tenacity enhanced by the spectre of anonaminity and high-speed internet. They indulge in fetishes and illicit activities that have never before invited so much mass participation in history unless you count The Illuminati and The Freemasons, who not only control the world but are responsible for the cancellation of this class next semester.

Groups like Al-Qaeda (Hi DHS agent) and neo-nazis also make considerable use of the internet, where they loathe the Great Satan West and all non-white peoples, and fear Tomahawk cruise missiles and all non-white peoples.

And I didn’t even have to take mescaline to write any of that.

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3 Comments
  1. Are you saying Ron Jeremy is the greatest comic mind of your generation? I thought he was from my grandfather’s generation. All kidding aside, this is perfect post to kick off the F.A.L.O. section.

    You touch many of the bases here. But I think I’m going to have to give up using an umbrella as a pointer after seeing the other video you linked to.

    Oh and two more things, in terms of setting the record the straight: 1) the cancellation is semester after next, and 2) it was masterminded by neither the Illuminati nor the Freemasons; in fact, the Reptilians are behind it all.

  2. I think the Freemason conspiracy theory holds a lot of merit. Keeping learning in physical buildings means more buildings.

    @jimgroom tweeted your other post & I’m so glad he did. Your writing style is great. Your whole blog is hilarious. Thanks for the late night chuckle.

    • Funny story, on my first day of
      high school I accidentally went to the Philadelphia Freemason HQ by accident cause it looked similar to my school…how different things could’ve been.

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